


the fourth's the last

by orphan_account



Category: Fall Out Boy
Genre: Committed Relationship, Emetophobia, M/M, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-03
Updated: 2016-07-03
Packaged: 2018-06-04 06:20:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6644803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>pete has tried three times so far; the fourth should be the last, right?</p>
            </blockquote>





	the fourth's the last

pete tries, and tries, and tries.

he has tried three times so far.

and it doesn't work.

but this one is the last and best. he knows it, he feels it in his bones. he has the sharp blades, he has the pills. he is ready.

he isn't even miserable or sad; he's tired. so terribly tired. he closes his eyes before he gives his phone a last check. he taps his fingers against his jeans, debating whether he should let his fans know or if he should leave them alone. he goes for the second one.

but patrick, he thinks. patrick deserves to know.

he opens the messaging app and the words are sure, firm. he doesn't doubt as he types.

\- a teenage vow in a parking lot; til tonight do us part. i sing the blues and swallow them too.  
\- goodbye, patrick. i love you.

he hears his phone buzz right before the pills go into his throat. he glances at it, and bites his tongue. he knows it's him. his hands shake and he spits the pills away when he hears someone knocking on the door. he feels anxiety eat at him as they open the door and then go into his room.

he doesn't control himself and he starts crying as soon as he sees his husband. brown hair, blue eyes, pale skin, worried gaze. it's him, it has always been him.

patrick goes to meet him in the floor and hugs him tightly, his breath hitching. "did you do it? did i come in time?" when pete doesn't react, he pulls away and digs his nails into the taller boy's shoulders. "did i come in time?" he repeats. pete isn't really there; he feels half-gone, as if he had swallowed those meds. but his gaze goes to patrick's eyes, and they're so clouded with worry and fear it makes him snap out of it.

"you came in time," he breathes. "i didn't get to do anything."

patrick doesn't have the need to ask what was he going to do; he can see the pills thrown around in the floor, and the blade in the bed. he bites his lip, and he feels blurry with worry. he shakes his head as he hugs pete again. he knows he doesn't have to ask why, he knows it will just upset pete more. he closes his eyes and sighs. "i'm sorry, i'm sorry. i shouldn't have left you alone."

pete sobs into the other boy's chest, burying himself in it. "i'm sorry. i was -- i was tired. i'm sorry." he feels guilty, just as the other times. he knows the feeling way too well, the way he feels like throwing up because he is such a piece of shit.

"it's okay, it's okay. i love you. i love you so much."

"i love you too," pete chokes out. his cheeks are wet and he feels terrible.

patrick kisses him and it lasts just a few seconds, maybe ten, but they make pete feel alive again.


End file.
